Author tells how Bible stories about harlots, seductresses and rape victims are worth reading and understanding

These are Bible stories you’ll rarely hear on Sunday mornings in church — stories of incest, rape, mutilation and seduction.

The Sunday liturgy in Catholic and Lutheran churches I’ve attended abides by a three-year reading cycle that covers most, but not all, of the Bible. A regular church goer will hear some passages in what seems like an over-and-over pattern (Jesus is feeding 5,000 again?), while some sections and books are never read and rarely used as the basis for sermons.

Author Jonathan Kirsch tackles some of those rarely studied stories in “The Harlot by the Side of the Road: Forbidden Tales of the Bible.”

Says Kirsch in his opening: “The stories that are retold here will come as a surprise to many readers precisely because, over the centuries, they have been suppressed by rabbis, priests and ministers uncomfortable with the candor of the biblical storytellers about human conduct, sexual or otherwise.”

If you believe the Bible was written by God’s fingers, you might not appreciate Kirsch’s thoughtful discussions of the origins of the Bible and his occasional treatment of the book as literature rather than the inspired word of God, but I found Kirsch to be respectful even when he was being academic.

Kirsch retells the Bible stories in common English in sort of a “historical fiction” approach alongside an English translation of the Bible, and then he explores possible meanings in historical and contemporary texts. In his analysis are seven stories from the Old Testament, also known as the Hebrew Bible:

• The story of Lot and his daughters (Genesis 19:1-38).
• The rape of Dinah (Genesis 34:1-31).
• Tamar and Judah (Genesis 38:1-26). This is the story on which the title of Kirsch’s book is based.
• Zipporah and Moses (Exodus 4:24-26).
• Jephthah and his daughter (Judges 11:1-40).
• The Levite traveler and his concubine (Judges 19:1-28).
• The rape of another woman named Tamar by her brother who was also King David’s son Amnon (2 Samuel 13:1-22).

Did you know Lot (the man whose wife was turned to salt when she turned around the witness the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah) had sex with his daughters who bore children by him? Did you know Moses had a wife and son? Have you ever even heard of Jephthah?

After reading Kirsch’s book, I have a new appreciation for all these characters, especially the female ones. If you think the Bible skims over the stories of women, Kirsch’s approach will open your eyes to the possible feminist themes woven throughout the Old Testament.

Don’t miss the appendix in back about “Who Really Wrote the Bible.” It explains a lot about how the Bible came together and some reasons for some of the confusing and sometimes redundant passages.

When I finished “Harlot,” I went back to my bookshelf to find another similar book I found useful in understanding the story of King David, the little shepherd who slayed Goliath, wrote Psalms, committed adultery with Bathsheba and ruled Israel hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus Christ. Turns out Jonathan Kirsch also wrote “King David: The Real Life of the Man Who Ruled Israel,” too.

A quick Google search reveals Kirsch is quite prolific having written books about Moses, Revelations and more. I’ll have to check them out.

 

Trivial pursuits

If you’ve been reading Minnesota Transplant long enough, you know that some days I really don’t have anything to say.

But I write a post anyway.

Today is one of those days.

I write for practice. I’ve come up with something interesting or inane to say about 26 times a month on average over the past five years. (I don’t obsess with my stats much, no, though astute readers might have noticed I recently surpassed 1,000 followers. If you’re reading me on your iPad, that is. On my PC, I supposedly have 643 followers. Who can account for the vagaries of WordPress stat crunchers? Who pays attention to such minutia anyway?)

In any case, today was one of those rare days in May. I ran 3.53 miles this morning (again, who’s counting?) as the glorious sun was rising. Not too hot, not too cold, it was Goldilocks “just right.” When I walked the dog briefly this evening, it was “just right” again.

Today’s meals? Not worth mentioning, except to say pesto mayo is awesome on a bacon-and-egg sandwiches.

Didn’t do anything worth writing home about either, except one thing: I wrote 877 words on my work-in-progress. Click here for today’s taste of the memories of the year I turned 15.

That’s about it. Oh, I slept well last night, too. Hoping for the same tonight. Here’s wishing you sweet dreams.

My pretty little dog has a grizzly side

I think my miniature schnauzer was a grizzly bear in a past life.

Besides the fact she snores (it’s the cutest little wheezy snore ever!), she really goes for any of Blue Buffalo’s dog food containing salmon.

I am morally against feeding my 8-pound canine beef since my dog could never take down a cow in the natural world, so I tend toward the chicken and turkey varieties when I’m hunting in the dog food aisle at Petco. But I decided to give salmon a try with my picky little dog, and it turns out she’s quite a pescetarian. In fact, she doesn’t just like salmon, she loves it!

They way she digs into her food bowl reminds me of a hungry grizzly chowing down on a river full of floppy fish during a salmon run.

We’ll need her grizzly aggression about now. My Beloved set our bikes free today from their winter storage, hanging from the ceiling of the garage. Chloe’s bark might come in handy should we encounter any witches on our bike rides.

“I’ll get you, my pretty! And your little dog, too!”

~ Miss Gulch, aka
the Wicked Witch of the West

 

Color scheme for a man cave

My Beloved saved some beat-up kitchen cabinets from certain death a couple years ago when he bought a whole kitchen’s worth for $75 off Craig’s List.

They were great for containing paint cans, miscellaneous screws, winter gear and various other garage doodads.

He resuscitated them again this weekend when he dug out his painting supplies and gave the cupboards a facelift:

Even the steps are painted orange and blue.

Think an ardent Chicago Bears fan lives here?

Why being a stepmother is like ‘Survivor’

My Adored Stepson sent me a text and called me today to wish me happy Mothers Day.

I survived 40 years without giving Mother’s Day a second thought (other than to thank my own mother), so I’m still a little surprised — and pleased — when I’m thought of on Mother’s Day.

Best gift of all: My 18-year-old stepson, after living the past three years with his mother in Minnesota, is graduating this week and spending the summer with his father and me before he goes off to college.

Some mothers of teenagers, let alone nonbiological mothers, might be appalled by this turn of events, but I’m delighted. My Adored Stepson inherited many of the characteristics I like in my Beloved, so I enjoy his company and am considering time with him this summer to be a gift.

But stepping into the role of stepmother hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes, it has been … well … how do I say this … bang-my-head-against-a-wall, heartbreakingly difficult. Days like today, when I get to engage my stepson in a Mother’s Day conversation about his last day of work, tomorrow’s business class exam and ethics of $3 T-shirts made in Bangladesh make all those other, less satisfying moments worth it.

In honor of Mother’s Day and the season finale of the 26th season of “Survivor Caramoan: Fans vs. Favorites,” here’s a list of ways being a successful stepmother is like winning “Survivor”:

1. Outwit, outplay, outlast. If you can’t outwit and outplay a 13-year-old, you’ll never outlast one.

2. Do not be the leader. Leaders get voted out of “Survivor,” and bossy stepmothers are unlikable all the way around. I learned early on that I had no role as disciplinarian, and thank goodness, my Beloved was up to the task.

3. Don’t be a follower either. Children — biological or step — learn how to push their parents’ buttons. If you let them get to you, they win.

4. Be nice but don’t be too young, too pretty or too stupid. Having to compete for your spouse’s attention helps no one. Be yourself. Be sincere. Help with homework. Care.

5. Keep your emotions in check. Dawn’s crying jags on this season’s “Survivor” are a little too much. Yes, the actions of my stepchildren have made me cry. Crying is good sometimes. But not on camera or under the hot lights.

6. Being a good cook helps. If you can’t be a good cook, tend the fire. My tastes and my stepson’s tastes do not jive. Thankfully, my Beloved is a good cook. And I clean up after him well.

7. Lighten up. On “Survivor,” lunatics get voted out but people like to keep funnymen around. In the end, the comedians are often the “fan favorites.” In my step-dynamic, Caswell tells the jokes and I laugh at them. In the words of Martha Stewart, this is a very good thing.

8. Avoid lying. Blindsides make for good tribal councils, but blindsided contestants tend to hold grudges when it comes time for the final vote. That goes double for stepchildren.

9. Win immunity challenges at any cost! There have been a lot of challenges in this season’s survivor requiring contestants to stand, balance, hold on or hold their breath the longest (I found that challenge involving the metal grate and the rising tide really uncomfortable to watch, but Brenda didn’t panic and ultimately won). Similarly, sometimes the best tactic for a stepmother is hold on longer than she ever thought she could.

10. Don’t monopolize the challenges either. If you’re seen as huge threat, you’ll be voted off. Stepchildren don’t like threats to their security either.

Enjoy the “Survivor” finale tonight! And happy (step)Mother’s Day!

We can all use a pattern of Zen in our lives, if only for a moment each day

Pattern

There’s a window over the tub in our master bath. When I get up in the morning, I stand in the tub and survey the back yard while I brush my teeth. This is how I greet the day and figure out what kind of weather to expect.

It’s my Zen moment.

In summertime, I admire my handiwork on the lawn. When I mow, I mow diagonally, switching to the opposite diagonal every other time.

The resulting pattern is like a diamond-shaped checkerboard.

It makes me happy.

(Until I have to wash the window of my toothpaste spatter.)

For more photos of “pattern” in this week’s WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge, click here and follow the comments.

EQ ain't all it's cracked up to be

Reblogged from Minnesota Transplant:

A manager once told me I lacked emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, for those who you who don't have an MBA and a penchant for case studies, is the ability to manage one's emotions in a healthy and productive manner. It is based on the notion that the ability of managers to understand their own emotions, and those of the people they work with, is the key to better business performance.

Read more… 195 more words

I spent the day filling out insurance forms, and I can assure you, I have nothing interesting about that experience to share with you. But in other matters, I was reminded today of this old post from 2010 and so I'm closing out the work week with it. Bring on red wine.