You know you’re in for it when the rules aren’t just “Rules,” they’re “Policies, Rules and Regulations.”
And they fill an entire page. In 8-point type. When I made my reservations, I thought I was visiting a campground. But after reading the Policies, Rules and Regulations, I’m thinking this is a wild, wild world; unsavory characters with Danger! in their eyes lurk around every corner (and, quite possibly, in the restrooms, showers and laundry).
Some rules are obvious and reasonable:
No gray or black water to be dumped on the ground.
Fires of moderate size are permitted in fire rings.
No dogs in restrooms or showers.
Some rules are less obvious and less reasonable. But OK. We’re guests, not owners.
Do not use BBQs on tables.
Do not clean fish on your site.
Generators are not allowed.
Some rules are reasonable, but really, do we need to spell it out?
Do not cut or destroy trees or shrubs, under penalty of prosecution.
Prosecution?! Put the hatchet away. Eek.
Do not toss cigarette butts on grounds.
Emphasized in red type.
Smokers are such pigs.
Some rules are strange.
No wetsuits in shower rooms or restrooms. No wetsuits in washers or dryers. Report any irregularities immediately.
See what I mean about unsavory characters? I guess scuba divers are pigs, too.
Some rules are In. Tense.
DO NOT WALK DOGS ON EMPTY SITES.
This rule is in red. Bold. Underlined. ALL CAPS.
They’re not kidding.
Some rules are just plain mean.
No bicycle riding here.
Do not check in early. Do not check out late.
And if you check in late, you’re in for a world of hurt. Late arrivals will be tracked down by 9 a.m. and burned at the stake.