A sunglasses eulogy


We are gathered here today to remember a great pair of prescription sunglasses, a fashion statement that has seen me through many a sunny day.

The spectacles were purchased five or six years ago. They lasted longer than at least two pair of regular glasses. With their Vogue label, I felt trendy every time I donned them to shade the sun or cover up the fact that I wasn’t wearing mascara.

Some of my favorite memories of you, Sunglasses, are watching the sun rise behind Hampshire’s water tower when we were jogging early in the morning, when we saw the Minnesota Twins play spring training baseball under the Florida skies and seeing the Caribbean ocean over the rails of more than one cruise ship.

Years ago, you helped me keep score at a season full of Adored Stepson’s Little League games in the spring and then you shielded my eyes while watching several sunny football games in the summer and autumn.

When your bow twisted completely off a few weeks ago, I wondered if you might be reincarnated. By no, it was not to be. You’re irreparably broken, and now it’s time for you to go to the glasses case in the sky where there are no smudges and the sun is never too bright.

Thank you for your years of ultraviolet protection and fashion statement addition to my look. I will miss you terribly.

At least until my sunglasses with the wrap-around lens and tortoiseshell frames arrive.

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