Well, it’s official: It’s the third week of January, proclaimed by me as the Worst Week of the Year.
And you thought today was something as simple as Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday weekend. Ha!
I proclaim this week based on my years of experience as a native Minnesotan who has witnessed a fair portion of bitterly cold and ridiculously snowy winters. I have no actual evidence of the worstness of this week, but believe me, it’s true. I can feel it in my bones.
Here’s the forecast for the coming week in northern Illinois:
Every day in the next week is expected to be colder than average (except today — I can’t explain today — total fluke). And clear days? No way. Mr. Sunshine cowering in the clouds this week.
That ominous polar vortex earlier this month messed things up a little, but in actuality, it was awful for only about 48 hours around Jan. 6-8. The highs those days were -4, 2 and 15, but the rest of the week was close to 30 degrees (which is normal).
Now, this sad fact about the third week of January is true not just in Minnesota (or wherever I happen to be at the time), but no matter where you live in North America. Even in the most consistently lovely place in America. I checked San Diego’s forecast for the week: It’ll be party cloudy all week and it’s supposed to hit a high of only 63 on Friday! Last Friday? 82 degrees. The Friday after next? Forecast calls for 83.
Good things can happen the third week of January: Babies are born, bonuses are earned, people fall in love. But weatherwise, it is shi-tee this week.
So bundle up, wear boots, drink cocoa and keep your shovel at the ready.
And remember: In a week, we’re only 54 days from the first day of spring.