I’ve lived in da Land of Disgraced Governors (otherwise known as da Land of Lincoln for youse traditionalists) for abowt six years, and I still can’t figger owt da traffic reports donchano.
“Twenty-two minutes out on the Edens, and a crash on the Tri-State has that running 40 minutes,” cracks talk radio on any given afternoon.
Oh ya, ya know, dis apparently makes sense to Illinoise drivers traveling 20 miles per over da limit and riding pretnear my bumper, but it’s a mystery to me. Uff-da.
My innerstate highways are named with numbers, as in I-94. Sometimes there’s a modifying letter — as in “35W goes to Dalut” — but dhat Illinoise penchant for naming dere roadways with famous (or infamous) names confuses me.
Who is Dan Ryan far as dhat goes anyway? (For the record, he is a former president of da Cook County Board of Commissioners who, unlike so many other Illinoise politicians, never served time in a federal pokey.)
My abode in Nortern Illinoise is just south of I-90 in this former Minnesotan’s way of tinking, but to everyone here, it’s just south of the Northwest Tollway and in serious danger of being south of I-88, which means da “rest of Illinois” dats not in “Da Loop.” And so.
Though I’ve come to appreciate the milder winners, cheering for perennial losers like da Cubs and deep-dish pizza as an alternative to hot dish, you betcha I’ll never get used-tuv the roadway naming convention.
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