Take this management book and shove it

leadership booksAmong the books I gave away earlier this week was a whole passel of management and leadership books I collected during the course of my years as a middle manager in Great and Powerful Corporations.

Like Oz, those corporations were full of flash, short on substance. Both went bankrupt in the past decade (both emerged from bankruptcy, too, but that just emphasizes my point of management by smoke and mirrors).

The book I was happiest to dump was “Working with Emotional Intelligence,” which I picked up after a supervisor for whom I no longer have a scintilla of respect told me I lacked emotional intelligence. She probably would not have approved of my choice of “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101,” which I also hoisted into the giveaway pile on the grounds it used “mistakes women make” in the subtitle. I’m sorry, unwitting recipients of bargain books at Savers, but neither one softened my rough edges. Odds of me picking up Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s new book? 100 to 1. Lean into that.

When I’m looking for information to support my opinions of Big Business, I turn to Dilbert, which I check out daily over my morning coffee. I love Scott Adams. His is a philosophy I can believe in. I typed “bullshit leadership quotes” into Google and got this delightful result, written by Dilbert’s creator just yesterday. Here’s an excerpt:

“Consider the thousands of different books on management/success/leadership. If any of this were real science, all managers would learn the same half-dozen secrets to success and go on to great things. The reality of the business world is more like infinite monkeys with typewriters. Sooner or later a monkey with an ass pimple will type something that makes sense and every management expert in the world will attribute the success to the ass pimple.”

~ Scott Adams

6 responses to “Take this management book and shove it

  1. Da hubby aka CEO

    I tip my glass to all the blow hard pimple popping idiots in the corporate world that make decisions at big company tables without having a clue what the real world is like and run their respective companies into the ground, all the while making life difficult with their inflated egos. smooch da backside!

  2. Wow…such brilliance from a cartoon. Goes to show that my philosophy that luck is three quarters of the equation might be right. I have about 50 other books on managment I’m donating to Savers. Let’s write a book together, Monica. We have the history to write about what not to do!

  3. Totally with you on this! I just announced my intention to take early retirement in June, largely in part due to management’s perception of my value (very low). Meanwhile, my clients think I walk on water, because I provide things no one else can. Management’s response to my announcement: Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

    It’s become increasingly clear: I work for morons.

    • I have the same problem — most of my bosses (or my bosses’ bosses) have been morons. The world is filled with them. We non-morons have to stick together.

      Congratulations on your retirement, whatever the circumstances. Sometimes those ass-hitting doors are booster rockets.

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