Say hello to my little friend: My elected official’s answering machine

Don’t piss me off, Inside-The-Beltwayers, when I’m PMSing.

I listened to way too much National Public Radio in the past 48 hours, and I am completely fed up with the hand wringing  about sequestration from the current administration and spokespersons for every federal program this side of Mexico.

You can’t cut 10% from your bloated budget? Really? The American people and every surviving American corporation in the country had to figure it out during the Great Recession, and you can, too.

I don’t care if there are fewer meat inspectors. We all should be eating beans once a week anyway.

I don’t care if there are longer lines at the airport. The TSA is waste of resources that should be financed by airlines and its fliers anyway.

I don’t care of federal unemployment benefits are cut 10%. They don’t pay the mortgage anyway.

I don’t care if the Pentagon has to do more with less. We all have had to do it, and you can figure out how to buy fewer $3,000 solar-powered toilets, too. Word to the wise: You can probably get a good deal on used AK-47s confiscated from the streets on Chicago’s South Side; America’s housewives could teach you a thing or two about couponing.

I don’t care if HIV patients in Washington, D.C., will get 10% fewer free condoms. Have 10% less sex in the name of patriotism.

I don’t care about the so-called multiplier effect — seriously, did the bank bailout in 2008 multiple the good effects of spending? I don’t think so! The bad effects of spending cuts are an illusion, too!

So I called my elected representatives — I’m talking to you Sen. Dick Durbin, Sen. Mark Kirk and Rep. Randy Hultgren — and told them not to make any deals. Seriously, I looked up the phone numbers and called them. “Let sequestration happen!” I shouted into their answering machines (OK, spoke loudly — I don’t need more trouble. Sen. Durbin had a live person answering the phone — I guess that’s one of the perks of 16 years in the Senate, but for the record, we all could have made do with an answering machine!

I’m not only a fan of sequestration (fanatic?!), but I’m a fan of 10% more cuts in six months! Bring it on!

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5 responses to “Say hello to my little friend: My elected official’s answering machine

  1. isiscambassassassassian

    Democrats. Who voted them in anyway?!

  2. Doesn’t that also mean 10% less for veteran’s medical aid and 10% less for Federal food banks? Blindly cutting 10% is a hugely bad idea, and it was intended to be a hugely bad idea in order to get them to make a sensible budget.

    But politics is so utterly broken in this country (on both sides) that this is what we get instead. And the news media would rather discuss that Boehner said “ass” than really get serious about digging into the story.

    It’s a tragedy any way you look at it.

    • I respect the people who are willing to work in the military to protect our country, but we’re all in this together and no one should be considered sacred. What department is in charge of the VA? If it’s the Pentagon, they can shuffle around some dollars and buy fewer tanks.

      I didn’t hear about Boehner’s language on NPR. I heard about it on TV news (either CNN or Fox). TV news is not news. It’s entertainment. Most viewers can’t differentiate (you probably can, Wyrd, but I believe the lowest common denominator population is probably not reading Minnesota Transplant. They didn’t even get past “Inside-the-Beltway”).

      • The VA is a separate government group (it has Cabinet-level status), so a 10% reduction directly affects them. The DOD is an entirely different group.

        Something to keep in mind: the DOD has repeatedly told Congress about programs and systems it does not need or want. But Congress, because these programs mean jobs for their state and constituents, push these useless programs through. The DOD is a surprisingly sensible organization with its eye very much on the ball of its mission. The real problem is Congress and pork-barrel politics.

        The state of TV news is exactly the tragedy. Few seek out real news, preferring instead to be entertained and subjected to constant (often manufactured) controversy (like the “horrible thing John Boehner said”). That’s really what they’re selling: conflict and controversy. People eat that up. It’s one reason Unreality TV is so popular.

      • Well, the intelligent among us who understand the politics can contribute directly to causes that matter to us, like food shelves or VA hospitals, because — thanks to sequestration — “loopholes” in the tax code, like charitable donations, still exist.

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