When rifling through kids’ pockets for clues about their high jinks stops working, Facebook might

Ask just about any mom what they value most, and she’ll name her kids first.

Not surprisingly that ardent interest transfers to social media. According to a story I read recently in the Chicago Tribune (“Your biggest Facebook stalker? Mom“), half of all parents on Facebook admit they joined the social network to keep tabs on their children.

My 71-year-old mom is on Facebook, and I know she appreciates seeing my posts on her news feed and sending me personal messages via Facebook. But she’s probably not using Facebook to make sure I’m behaving myself (she knows better by now).

If I were 13, however, there is no way in heck she should let me run wild in the streets of Facebook without her supervision. My 13-year-old nephew recently joined Facebook, and you can bet he has a number of caring relatives paying attention to his posts.

I’m not on Facebook to keep tabs on my Adored stepkids who are now considered adults, but yes, I admit, I do check on some of their shenanigans via Mark Zuckerberg’s juggernaut. (I generally keep my opinions to myself.)

Knowing half of all parents join Facebook to keep tabs on their kids explains why I don’t see status updates from most of my Facebook friends: They’re not there to see my opinion of Anne Hathaway’s dress or my latest couscous recipe.

Aw, darn.

But the stat reminds me of a Facebook pet peeve: Moms whose profile pictures depict their children. It’s called FACEbook, people, not MyIdentityIsMyAbilityToProcreateBook (this, coming from a woman who didn’t procreate — go figure). I want to see YOUR face. Not your kids. Yes, cherub-like faces are cuter than the mugs of 40-year-olds, but it’s disorienting when see pretty little poppets ranting about the Administration on my News Feed or T-ball players climbing up the Zynga rankings. Be you. I’m friends with you. Put your kids’ pictures on your Timeline Cover image. And when your child turns 13, I’ll happily befriend him or her and help you keep an eye on your little hellion.

It takes a village, people.*

*Makes you appreciate the importance of articles and punctuation, doesn’t it? Not “it takes Village People.” Rather, “it takes a village, people.”


One response to “When rifling through kids’ pockets for clues about their high jinks stops working, Facebook might

  1. Well, after your little rant here, I felt inspired to change my FB profile photo back to an image of me. LOL, thanks for the heads up friend.

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