Funniest line from today’s newspaper:
After months of promising a major grass-roots effort to win public support for reforming the state’s government worker pension system, Gov. Pat Quinn on Sunday unveiled a plan that featured an incomplete online strategy, children wearing red plastic megaphones and an animated “Squeezy the Pension Python” mascot.
Yup, front page of the Chicago Tribune. That’s the state I live in. And that’s our governor.
Dear Santa, Have I been good enough to get a stuffed Squeezy the Pension Python for Christmas this year?
The Chicago Tribune now offers the same virtual format by Olive Software for my iPad as the Star Tribune, and I just love it. It looks like the printed paper only a reader can click on a story to enlarge and follow jumps. It’s brilliant. So now I read two virtual newspapers. All the news, none of the newsprint.
I also enjoyed Leonard Pitts column on the editorial pages of the Tribune, today. Here’s the lead:
America, you are an idiot.
You are a moocher, a zombie, ignorant, greedy, self-indulgent, envious, shallow and lazy.
So far this morning, I was living a state where the governor championed pension reform with a python mascot, and I was living in a country that was a lazy zombie.
Preparing a meal of brains is so much work.
Columnist Barbara Brotman tackled a topic close to my heart in today’s Tribune, too: “Icebox of the Nation offers winter tips to Windy City.”
To help Chicagoans who enjoyed a mild winter last year, she asked the mayor of International Falls, Minn., for tips. “I think we live in nirvana, myself,” he told her.
Real quote. International Falls. Nirvana.
That’s why I’m living in Illinois now. Winter in Minnesota is more like finding a good recipe for simulated quinoa steaks or being a Twins fan the past two years. It’s hard. Very hard.
Enough of the newspaper. Back to work. Or mooching. Or shivering. Or whatever it is I do to contribute to the Great Pension Fund in the Illinois sky.