Highlights for a Minnesota Transplant from today’s newspaper

Funniest line from today’s newspaper:

After months of promising a major grass-roots effort to win public support for reforming the state’s government worker pension system, Gov. Pat Quinn on Sunday unveiled a plan that featured an incomplete online strategy, children wearing red plastic megaphones and an animated “Squeezy the Pension Python” mascot.

Yup, front page of the Chicago Tribune. That’s the state I live in. And that’s our governor.

Dear Santa, Have I been good enough to get a stuffed Squeezy the Pension Python for Christmas this year?

The Chicago Tribune now offers the same virtual format by Olive Software for my iPad as the Star Tribune, and I just love it. It looks like the printed paper only a reader can click on a story to enlarge and follow jumps. It’s brilliant. So now I read two virtual newspapers. All the news, none of the newsprint.

I also enjoyed Leonard Pitts column on the editorial pages of the Tribune,  today. Here’s the lead:

America, you are an idiot.

You are a moocher, a zombie, ignorant, greedy, self-indulgent, envious, shallow and lazy.

So far this morning, I was living a state where the governor championed pension reform with a python mascot, and I was living in a country that was a lazy zombie.

Preparing a meal of brains is so much work.

Columnist Barbara Brotman tackled a topic close to my heart in today’s Tribune, too: “Icebox of the Nation offers winter tips to Windy City.”

To help Chicagoans who enjoyed a mild winter last year, she asked the mayor of International Falls, Minn., for tips. “I think we live in nirvana, myself,” he told her.

Real quote. International Falls. Nirvana.


That’s why I’m living in Illinois now. Winter in Minnesota is more like finding a good recipe for simulated quinoa steaks or being a Twins fan the past two years. It’s hard. Very hard.

Enough of the newspaper. Back to work. Or mooching. Or shivering. Or whatever it is I do to contribute to the Great Pension Fund in the Illinois sky.


4 responses to “Highlights for a Minnesota Transplant from today’s newspaper

  1. Lol! “International Falls. Nirvana. No.” I hear you–really and truly. The beloved and I drove up to see his folks in Winnipeg this week and as we reached Grand Forks things got foggy. As we reached Pembina (just before the boarder) it was downright cold! Lo and behold–as soon as we cross the border there’s snow on the ground that grows more and more until it’s a foot high!! It was 56 degrees when we ventured from our humble abode and upon arriving at our destination it was a balmy 4 degrees. Celcius. @_@

    Happy Thansgiving, Monica! May you enjoy the crazy, lazy, python-y ordeal 🙂

  2. There’s a sense of pride in being able to weather Minnesota winters! (Although lately they’ve been pretty wimpy.)

    • It was 60 degrees in Chicago today. Unbelieveable. Pretty soon, we’ll be bragging about how we endure the heat.

      • I have a joke jpeg of a poster someone made. It features a picture of some people in beach chairs and sand and palm trees. The legend reads: Canadians for Global Warming!

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