Weekly photo challenge: Summer

Beef tenderloin grilled over briquettes with a bit of rain-soaked hickory for smoke. The Memorial Day weekend showers are good for something!

Memorial Day weekend list on things to remember

Summer officially begins today, the Friday of Memorial Day weekend! Exciting stuff if one lives in the upper Midwest where winters are cold and springtime is filled with cleaning, yard work and other activities associated with throwing off the vestiges of winter.
Here’s your Memorial Day weekend checklist to ensure you make the most of the 90-degree temperatures and time off from work:
– Swimsuit (maybe more than one).
– Sunscreen (SPF of 30 or higher to protect your lily-white epidermis).
– Ice cold beer.
– Ice (required to keep great quantities of beer ice cold).
– Salty snacks (I prefer Doritos, but potato chips will do in a pinch).
– Beef. Burgers, brats or steaks are required grill foods. If you’re a vegetarian, I respect you but I’m really sorry — grilled zucchini just sounds sad.
– Baseball schedule. Even if you don’t like baseball, a game on the radio is soothing to nap to).
– Patience. Traffic will be frustrating coming and going. Get used to it.
– Good company. Leave toxic spouses, children and relatives out of the festivities.
– WordPress app on your phone (necessary only if you’re a blogger obsessed with posting wittily about life’s ephemera daily).
Have a fabulous holiday!

Celebrating with the bargain shoppers

This is what one does if one doesn’t go to church, eat chocolate bunnies or enjoy a ham dinner with the family on Easter: Shop the flea market.

I’ve never seen so many cotton socks and $1 bottles of soap in one place. The parking lot went on for blocks.

I did, however, score a few pair of trouser socks and a $3 orange belt. We passed on the $425 stained glass floor lamp.

Happy Easter!

Shooting stunning holes in Holy Saturday … with a ray gun

Science fiction helps explain away a lot of perplexing theological questions.

Familiar with “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”? For those of you for whom this is an arcane reference, let me explain. In the episode “The Emissary,” Capt. Benjamin Sisko uses baseball as a metaphor to explain linear time to an alien species known at the Prophets. The Prophets exist in a wormhole, a timeless plain where there are no beginnings, no endings, no befores, no afters.

Sisko: In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

Alien Batter: And you have no idea what that shape is until it is completed?

Sisko: That’s right. In fact, the game wouldn’t be worth playing if we knew what was going to happen.

Jake Prophet: You value your ignorance of what is to come?

Sisko: That may be the most important thing to understand about humans. It is the unknown that defines our existence. We are constantly searching, not just for answers to our questions, but for new questions. We are explorers. We explore our lives day by day, and we explore the galaxy, trying to expand the boundaries of our knowledge. And that is why I am here. Not to conquer you with weapons, or with ideas. But to coexist… and learn.

I imagine God to be like those Prophets. He exists in a place without time — every event in all of history occurs at the same time, all the time. This is how He is omniscient — He knows what the future holds because it already occurred and it’s occurring right now and it’s about to occur, all at the same time. It is us humans who experience life in a linear manner, one pitch after another so to speak. God doesn’t intervene in mundane human events, like the Cubs baseball season, because it’s already over.

See? Science fiction solves this deep philosophical quandary.

In any case, I was amused by the story “What did Jesus do on Holy Saturday?” in today’s newspaper. Read it here.

Apparently, theologians for centuries have been arguing about where Jesus was on the Saturday between his crucifixion and resurrection.

Seriously. God is the great I Am (Exodus 3:14). The Truth and the Life (John 14:6). The Alpha and Omega (Revelation 21:6). And we, lowly humans with teeny tiny intellect, think we can explain Jesus’ daily planner on the day between dying for humanity’s sins and rising from the dead.

Sometimes, we can be so arrogant.

Apparently, some people believe that on Holy Saturday Jesus descended into hell (it’s a line in the Apostle’s Creed, recited frequently in the Catholic and Lutheran churches I’ve attended most of my life), and some Christians have found little Biblical evidence to this “hellish detour.”

I don’t know where the son of God was passing his time that Saturday (and frankly, it seems so trifling compared to what happened on Good Friday and Easter morning), but I’m content with my science fiction explanation: God is everywhere at once, all the time — in the grave, in hell, in heaven looking down, in my heart.

I am willing to immerse myself in Capt. Sisko’s humanity. It is the unknown that defines our existence. I have faith the answers will all be revealed in due time.

Bonus arcane reference: Part of the title for today’s post comes from “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home”:

Chekov: [picks up his phaser from the table, aiming at the FBI agents] Don’t move!

FBI agent interrogating Chekov: OK, make nice, give us the ray gun.

Chekov: I warn you, if you don’t lie on the floor… I will have to stun you.

Tasty crepes, sweet or savory

The old family recipe for lemon crepes is written in pencil in my stepdaughter’s handwriting on a slip of notepaper from her alma mater.

Once every couple of months, I fish it out of Ye Old Pile Of Recipes (several inches of interesting dishes ripped from magazines and newspapers) and my Beloved whips up a batch with a few expert flicks of his wrist and a nonstick pan.

It’s Morgan’s favorite breakfast and she stayed with us last night, so it was on the menu this morning. She enjoys it served with lemon sauce, and that’s the way they are almost always served. Since I experiment with all my recipes, I fiddled with this sacred recipe, too, and I discovered this morning these crepes are delicious in a savory version, too.

Perhaps you’ll enjoy them for Easter morning or another special morning coming up.

Crepes

Ingredients:

• 3 eggs
• 2 tablespoons oil
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1-1/2 cups milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 cup flour

Instructions:

1. Blend all ingredients except flour.
2. Add flour and mix well.
3. Heat a crepe pan or non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Brush with melted butter to lightly grease. Pour 2 tablespoons of batter into the pan and tilt the pan in a circular motion, swirling the batter to evenly cover the base. Cook until the edge of the crepe begins to curl. Turn and cook until golden underneath. Your crepes should ideally be almost thin enough for you to see through.
4. Prepare the crepes and pile on a plate until serving.
5. Serve with Lemon Sauce if you’re a purist or with a savory filling (see following).

Lemon Sauce

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup evaporated milk
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon extract

Instructions:

1. Boil milk, butter and sugar together in a saucepan on the stove.
2. Remove from heat and add lemon extract.
3. To serve, fold two or three crepes on a plate, and pour lemon sauce over all. Also good if you stuff crepes with fresh raspberries or strawberries and top everything with whipped cream.

Savory Stuffing

Ingredients:

• 1 teaspoon oil
• 1 green onion, sliced
• 1/2 cup fresh spinach leaves, chopped
• 2 slices bacon, fried
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/4 cup cottage cheese
• 1 tablespoon parmesan cheese
• salt & pepper to taste

1. Heat oil in nonstick skillet over medium high heat. Add onion and spinach and saute until wilted.
2. Add cheeses to beaten eggs and add to pan with onion and spinach. Add bacon. Cook like scrambled eggs until curdled.
3. To serve, fill two crepes with filling and roll. Top with sour cream if desired.

What a difference 31 years makes

Valentine’s Day 1981

Dear Diary,

Yesterday after our basketball game (we lost; 54-3 — ugh!), I sat up in the bleachers and B. said, ” I really hate you — but I like your sister, Kay. She’s neat. Tell her hi from me and I’ll ask her if you did, and if you don’t, I’ll beat you up.” He said that with kinda a nice smile on his face. Then just a little while later, I was sitting on the bleachers with my knees on them and B. said, “Move your knees” and he sat down right beside me!!! Even Carrie noticed! Wow! And he knows I like him because I wrote a poem for English and Mr. O read it to the 7th hour class and T.J. found out about it and now everyone knows. Here’s the poem:

This Guy

The boy, his name is Anthony.
He’s got it all as you will see.
He’s bright, he’s tall, he runs real fast,
And in a race, he’s never last.

In basketball, he is the best.
He is so smart, he’ll ace a test.
But when he looks at me, I’m shy
And that is why I like this guy.

Whadya think? If I ever go with B., I’m gonna give this poem to him.

* * *

I laugh at my 14-year-old self on so many levels when I read this entry. First of all, I guess I had my priorities right on Valentine’s Day. I can’t imagine that 54-3 basketball game now, but I’m sure it was pure torture for my poor coach. All the attention it got from me was “ugh.” The rest of my entry was about the most important thing in my life: Boys! Or at least, one boy.

Are eighth grade boys still like that? Do they say, “I hate you” and “I’ll beat you up” when they like you? And can eighth grade girls see through it? From my limited experience with eighth graders in recent years, I’m thinking this is fourth grade behavior. Eighth graders are doing a lot more than sitting next to each other on the bleachers. Makes one yearn for the good ol’ days.

And I can’t believe my English teacher Mr. O really thought my poetry had any value beyond amusing himself as he outed me as lovestruck. He might have enjoyed the unfolding soap opera he unleashed by reading my work out loud, not to my class, but to a different one. If you’re teaching eighth grade English, that’s probably as good as it gets.

* * *

Valentine’s Day 2012

Minnesota Transplant blog

Well, I know for sure I’m part of an old married couple. We went out for dinner at a corner cafe (because we were avoiding the crowd at the local pub) and I ate my entire 10-ounce burger with bleu cheese, bacon and onions. I can’t believe I at the whole thing. A Valentine’s meal on a date with someone you’re trying to impress would never include onions or be completely eaten.

I got a portable FM radio for Valentine’s Day so I can listen to MPR while running. And I gave my Beloved a carrot cake muffin. And a Valentine that said, “Be my Valentine.”

Over dinner, we reminisced about the past five Valentine’s Days together, and I asked my Beloved what makes him happy when he thinks back about our relationship. And he said, “I’m happy that I’m happier every year.”

Now that’s progress. A lot better than being in eighth grade and being told, “I hate you.” That’s happily every after.

Valentine’s Eve advice: How to have a happy marriage

“Don’t go to bed angry” is lame advice, and yet, like spam from Nigerian philanthropists (“please kindly help me collect my cash deposit of $21 million, I have set aside 25 percent for your time”), it seems to sneak into every two-cent prescription for a happy marriage.

On Valentine’s Eve, let’s explore good advice on staying married, shall we?

My mood is at its lowest ebb at the end of a bad day, and it’s. Not. The time. To make. It. Worse. Baby.

I’ll be a lot better negotiator after a good night’s sleep.

My first husband (yup, let’s say we’ve got a lot of experience in this house on staying and not staying married so consider the source) loved to pick a fight at bedtime.

A lot of expletives spewed from my sweet potty mouth when that happened, and you can bet that didn’t help matters.

In my experience, sleep trumps peace. Go to bed mad if you want. The philosophy of the advice is sound, however: Don’t let disagreement fester. So tackle that problem, whatever it is, with a fresh perspective (and fewer f-bombs) in the morning.

My best advice: Don’t try to change your mate and look for the best in him (or her). Unfortunately, it took me a good five years the first time around to figure out that nagging got me nowhere, but “looking for the best” got me through 16 years of marriage the first time.

Human beings are complex and flawed. You don’t have to look very hard to find behavior to drive you mad. But if you really want to be happy, choose to be happy: Spend your time looking for behavior you can appreciate.

My Beloved is a fabulous cook (the chicken and dumpling stew tonight was wonderful), a thoughtful and generous mate, an amazing wheeler-dealer, a jolly companion with a courageous heart. And he’s true.

His best marriage advice: “Be faithful and work through it. Communicate.”

We start almost every day with a cup of coffee and conversation. It usually starts with such scintillating queries like “how’d you sleep?” but with caffeine, we get going on oodles of good communication. Because my Beloved values communication, we’re on the same page most of the time and that makes us happy.

Married? For all those lonely hearts out there dying to be in your shoes, maybe you have some advice for a happy marriage. Do tell.

Yawn, chocolate is plain vanilla in February

Is anyone else sick of chocolate recipes yet?

Apparently, chocolate is the only thing to push in February because it’s, you know, Valentine’s Day in February:

• Practically every library I’ve visited in the past four weeks is pushing their “History of Chocolate” or “Chocolate Tasting Class” in February because it’s, you know, Valentine’s Day.
• The cover of Food Network Magazine is plastered in chocolate. Today’s Food section in the Chicago Tribune had not one, but two recipes for chocolate mousse because, you know, you serve your loved ones chocolate on Valentine’s Day.
• A passel of emails that have invaded my In Box in recent days have touted chocolate cocktails, chocolate tea, champagne chocolate truffles, chocolate at the movies and chocolate for dessert at a nearby vegetarian restaurant. Why? Because Valentine’s Day, you know, isn’t complete without chocolate.

Marketers lacking the creativity gene sell back to school in September, monsters and vampires in October, gratitude in November, “the holidays” (used to be Christmas) in December, losing weight resolutions in January and chocolate in February. Set your calendar to their predictability.

Frankly, most of us should embrace a sale on gym memberships year-round, not just January. Chocolate (and chocolate sales) are delicious any time of year, not only when we’re dropping hints for our main squeezes.

I know, secretly, it’s not the marketers who aren’t creative. The ones who aren’t creative are a lot higher on the ladder, and too often they’re looking for the safe bet. Especially if it helps them maintain or beat last year’s sales, month over month.

I wish Madison Avenue’s monthly themes were a little more broad: Maybe perseverance in January, warmth in February, freshness in March, etc. Happy Freshness Day, anyone?

So we are left with chocolate, chocolate everywhere this time of year because chocolate says love like nothing else, I guess. No one is willing to promote a cup of sweet cream ice cream with almonds, peanut butter and Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup mix-ins. That’s what I had for dessert tonight at Cold Stone Creamery. No emails. No ads. No sale prices. But it hit the creative mark for a February craving.

I loved it.

Writing thank-you notes has gotten a bad rap … here are some tips for writing good ones

If you have some people to thank after getting some extravagant gifts for Christmas, think of your gratitude as being among those gifts.

“Expressing gratitude is not an obligation,” says Margaret Shepherd in her book, “The Art of the Handwritten Note: A Guide to Reclaiming Civilized Communication.” “In fact, it is one of the most intense pleasures you can have.”

I wrote thank-you notes for Christmas tonight, and I do this for me as much as for the recipient. I get to savor the gifts I received and think good thoughts about the givers. Yes, it was part of my “to do” list today so I guess that makes it a chore, but I like putting pen to paper and saying thanks in a semi-creative way. And for me, there’s double value. Even though I insist the gifts be separate, as a Dec. 23 baby I can thank people for both birthday and Christmas gifts in the same note.

Shepherd says there are five characteristics for a good thank-you note:

1. Be generous. “Send a note even if you’ve already thanked the giver another way,” Shepherd says.
2. Be specific.
3. Be prompt. (I haven’t finished sending all my Christmas cards, but I’ve got those thank-you notes done!)
4. Be succinct. (See, you don’t have to write a book.)
5. Be personal.

Stuck with writer’s block? Try beginning one of these phrases from Shepherd:”I was so pleased to …,” “You were so nice to …,” “What a nice surprise …,” “That was a thoughtful gift …” and “It was a treat when we … .”

I’m always so pleased to know I have regular readers. You’re so kind to tune in and comment on occasion. Thanks for reading!

Gifts of love

The frenzy of buying, wrapping and even opening gifts often outweighs the actual gifts received.

Some gifts are truly fun to give (like the calendar I made my mother-in-law or the night-vision goggles we gave to my 12-year-old nephew) but sometimes, the act of giving is just a lot of work that plays out in a matter of seconds on Christmas Day.

I received a lot of lovely — some extravagant — gifts for my birthday and Christmas this year. I’m still enjoying fresh pears packaged so perfectly, they’re like opening a gift each morning. I was proud to use my shiny new flatware for my guests on Christmas Day. I’m writing this post wearing a comfy new running outfit. And I will enjoy all kinds of interesting wines and wine accessories in the weeks to come, all while thinking of the friends who thought of me.

And while I loathe ranking them at all, I will especially treasure two of the gifts I received this year.

I know that even “real” mothers don’t always receive gifts from their children, but I know, too, that stepmoms often are not the highest priority on a child’s gift-giving list, so to receive anything at all is a gift. Of course, ’tis better to give than receive, so even if I got nothing for Christmas, I could relish in my own generosity. But I feel extra special this year.

My stepdaughter gave some careful thought to my interests and hobbies and found this Star Trek Enterprise model that is actually a fabulous pizza cutter. It’s a brilliant gift for a Trekker.

My stepson is taking a ceramics class this semester, and I got this beautiful piece of pottery he made. It’s a perfectly thrown bowl.

It’s extra special because it makes me think of my brother, too, who made a pitcher for my parents one year, one they still use as a serving piece.

All these lovely gifts were the backdrop to a perfectly wonderful Christmas Day when we entertained nearly a dozen people with a perfectly grilled roast and lots of good company.

It was a good Christmas. How was yours?